Most people recognize Jeremy Yaffe as Alan Arkin’s first wife. But her story extends far beyond that connection—she’s a woman who rebuilt her life after divorce, raised two successful actors, and carved out a 30-year nursing career while staying firmly out of the spotlight.
Born in 1937 in Massachusetts to George and Ninna Yaffe, Jeremy built a life defined by resilience rather than recognition. At 88 years old in 2025, she represents thousands of women whose contributions shaped families and communities without seeking fame, much like Jeremy Yaffe’s life.
Early Years: From Massachusetts to Bennington College
Jeremy grew up in a household where creativity and hard work held equal value. Her parents encouraged artistic expression, leading her to pursue music and dance. This passion brought her to Bennington College in Vermont, a school known for its progressive arts programs.
At Bennington, she met Alan Arkin, a senior with similar artistic interests. Their connection developed quickly, reminiscent of the relationships formed in the life of Jeremy Yaffe, the first wife of actor Alan Arkin. What started as a friendship became romance, setting the stage for a marriage that would test both partners in unexpected ways.
Marriage at 18: Financial Struggles and Early Parenthood
Jeremy married Alan Arkin, an actor and director, in December 1955 when she was just 18 years old. The college administration didn’t approve, prompting the young couple to leave school and move to New York City without a solid plan.
Financial reality hit immediately after her divorce from Alan Arkin, forcing her to rely on her own skills. Alan struggled to find acting work, so he joined folk music group The Tarriers to support their growing family. Their first son, Adam, arrived in August 1956, followed by Matthew in March 1960.
Jeremy became a mother at 19 while navigating constant moves and financial instability. For a brief period, she contributed to a children’s folk music group called The Baby Sitters alongside Alan in the late 1950s, showing her willingness to support the family in any way possible.
Divorce and Transformation: Building a New Life
By 1961, just months after Matthew’s birth, the couple separated. Alan later admitted in his memoirs that his demanding career contributed heavily to the marriage’s collapse, a reflection on the life of Jeremy Yaffe and her time married to Alan Arkin. Jeremy faced a choice: remain connected to Alan’s emerging Hollywood career or forge her own path while raising her children.
She chose independence.
Jeremy returned to school, trained as a nurse, and built a stable healthcare career. This wasn’t just a job change—it reflected her core values of service and self-sufficiency. She holds a nursing license from the Board of Registered Nursing, California Department of Consumer Affairs, contributing to her legacy of Jeremy Yaffe.
After moving to California, Jeremy focused on providing stability for her children, emphasizing the importance of family life over the entertainment industry. Matthew primarily lived with his mother, the first wife of actor Alan Arkin, while Adam spent more time with Alan, yet she maintained strong relationships with both sons.
The Baby Sitters: A Musical Footnote
Jeremy’s involvement with The Baby Sitters folk group in the late 1950s represents a unique chapter in her biography. The group recorded family-friendly albums that found a niche audience. Though brief, this period shows her creative flexibility and willingness to explore different roles during a challenging time, much like the journey of Jeremy Yaffe’s early life.
Motherhood: The Foundation of Two Acting Careers
Jeremy’s greatest legacy lives through her sons. Adam Arkin, born August 19, 1956, became known for playing Dr. Aaron Shutt on Chicago Hope from 1994-2000. He received Emmy nominations for both that role and his recurring part on Northern Exposure. In 2002, he won a Daytime Emmy for directing My Louisiana Sky.
Adam’s television work spans Law & Order, The Twilight Zone, Frasier, Life, Sons of Anarchy, and Fargo. He also earned a Tony nomination in 1991 for his performance in I Hate Hamlet. His directing credits include episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, The Blacklist, and The Night Agent, contributing to the legacy of the entertainment industry that also includes his marriage to Alan Arkin.
Matthew Arkin, born March 21, 1960, took a different route—he graduated from Wesleyan University, earned a law degree from Fordham, and practiced law for five years in Tarrytown and White Plains before pursuing acting. He debuted on Broadway in 1993 in Neil Simon’s Laughter on the 23rd Floor and received a Drama Desk Award nomination for his role in Dinner with Friends.
Matthew also teaches acting at the HB Studio in New York City and the Actors Studio in Los Angeles, and published the detective novel In the Country of the Blind in 2016, reflecting the artistic legacy of Jeremy Yaffe.
Both sons credit their mother’s stability during their formative years as crucial to their success in the entertainment industry, a testament to the life and legacy of Jeremy Yaffe.
Life Beyond Hollywood: Privacy and Purpose
Jeremy remarried after her divorce from Alan, though details about her subsequent marriages remain private, much like her early life. Reports suggest she married at least four times by the early 2000s. When last reported, she was living at 429 Hudson St, Oakland, California, and went by Mrs. Wakefield.
Her career in nursing spanned decades in California, showcasing her dedication and hard work. Unlike many connected to Hollywood, she never sought attention or leveraged her connection to Alan’s fame. Her estimated net worth stands at around $1 million, earned entirely through her nursing career and personal investments.
Alan Arkin: Understanding the Connection
To understand Jeremy’s story fully requires context about her ex-husband’s career trajectory. Alan Arkin (1934-2023) won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for Little Miss Sunshine in 2006 and received Oscar nominations for The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming (1966), The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (1968), and Argo (2012).
He won a Tony Award for Enter Laughing in 1963 and performed with The Second City sketch comedy group, a notable achievement in the entertainment industry that contrasts with Jeremy’s career in nursing. After Jeremy, Alan married actress Barbara Dana from 1964-1994, with whom he had a son, Anthony, then married psychotherapist Dr. Suzanne Newlander in 1996, remaining with her until his death.
While Alan’s career brought wealth and recognition, Jeremy’s path led to personal fulfillment through her career in nursing and family life. The contrast highlights different definitions of success.
What Jeremy Yaffe Teaches Us About Resilience
Jeremy’s life challenges common narratives about success and fulfillment. She could have remained in Alan’s orbit, benefiting from his growing fame. Instead, she chose independence, stability, and meaningful work, which she found during her marriage to Alan Arkin and beyond, embodying the spirit of Jeremy Yaffe’s legacy.
Her story resonates because it’s common for individuals in the entertainment industry to lead fulfilling lives without public recognition. Countless women have:
- Married young and faced unexpected challenges
- Rebuilt careers after divorce
- Prioritized children’s needs over personal ambitions
- Found purpose in service professions, a theme that resonates with Jeremy Yaffe’s life story.
- Many have lived fulfilling lives without public recognition, similar to Jeremy Yaffe, who prioritized family life over fame.
Jeremy represents those who shape history quietly through family and service rather than fame, as the first wife of actor Alan Arkin. Her influence continues through her sons’ careers and the countless patients she cared for during her nursing career, further enriching the life of Jeremy Yaffe.
Current Life and Continuing Privacy
At 88 years old, Jeremy maintains the privacy she’s valued throughout her life. She has no social media presence and rarely appears in public. When Alan Arkin died on June 29, 2023, at age 89, Jeremy’s sons released a statement, honoring the legacy of Jeremy Yaffe while she remained out of the public eye.
This consistent choice—to live privately despite family connections to Hollywood—defines her character as much as any career accomplishment.
The Broader Arkin Family Legacy
In 1969, Alan Arkin directed the Oscar-nominated short film People Soup, starring both his sons, Adam Arkin and Matthew Arkin. The 12-minute children’s fantasy about boys creating magical soup marked both sons’ early film appearances.
The Arkin family represents three generations in entertainment, yet Jeremy remains the foundation—the stable presence who ensured her children had support regardless of the challenges their parents faced.
Lessons from Jeremy Yaffe’s Journey
Her story offers several insights:
- Career Changes Are Possible: Jeremy transitioned from an arts student to a nurse in her mid-20s, building a 30-year career in an entirely new field.
- Independence Matters: Rather than remaining financially dependent on her ex-husband’s success, she established her own income and stability through her career in nursing, a key aspect of Jeremy Yaffe’s life story.
- Privacy Is Valid: In an age of oversharing, Jeremy’s consistent choice to avoid publicity shows that private lives can be just as meaningful as public ones.
- Parental Support Matters: Both Adam and Matthew succeeded partly because Jeremy provided stability during uncertain times.
- Success Has Many Forms: While Alan earned Oscars and fame, Jeremy found fulfillment through her career in nursing and family—both are valid measures of a well-lived life.
Conclusion
Jeremy Yaffe’s story deserves recognition not because she married a famous actor, but because she exemplifies resilience, independence, and quiet strength. She built a meaningful life on her own terms, raised two successful sons, and spent decades serving others through nursing.
At 88 years old, she remains private, which is exactly how she’s lived since her divorce from Alan Arkin in 1961, reflecting her commitment to family life. Her legacy lives through Adam and Matthew’s careers, the patients she cared for, and the example she set—that a life well-lived doesn’t require fame, just purpose, dedication, and integrity.
In a culture obsessed with celebrity, Jeremy Yaffe reminds us that some of the most important stories, such as her early life and marriage to Alan Arkin, never make headlines. They unfold in hospital hallways, in quiet homes, and in the hearts of children who grow up knowing they’re unconditionally supported, reflecting the nurturing side of Jeremy Yaffe’s life.
FAQs
Who is Jeremy Yaffe?
Jeremy Yaffe is best known as the first wife of Oscar-winning actor Alan Arkin and the mother of actors Adam and Matthew Arkin. She is also a retired nurse who spent decades working in California healthcare.
When was Jeremy Yaffe born?
She was born in 1937 in Massachusetts to parents George and Ninna Yaffe, later becoming the first wife of actor Alan Arkin. This makes her 88 years old as of 2025.
How long were Jeremy Yaffe and Alan Arkin married?
They married in December 1955 when Jeremy was 18, and Alan was 21, separating in 1961 after about six years of marriage.
What does Jeremy Yaffe do for a living?
After her divorce, Jeremy trained as a nurse and built a long career in healthcare. She’s now retired but spent decades working as a nurse in California.
How many children does Jeremy Yaffe have?
She has two sons with Alan Arkin: Adam (born August 19, 1956) and Matthew (born March 21, 1960), both of whom have pursued careers in the entertainment industry. Both became actors.
What is Jeremy Yaffe’s net worth?
Her estimated net worth is around $1 million, earned primarily through her nursing career and personal investments rather than Hollywood connections.
Is Jeremy Yaffe still alive?
Yes, Jeremy Yaffe is alive and 88 years old as of 2025. She maintains a private life in California, reflecting the values of her early life before her marriage to Alan Arkin, while raising her children.
Did Jeremy Yaffe remarry?
Yes, she remarried after divorcing Alan. Some reports suggest she married at least four times total, though she keeps her personal life private.
What happened to Alan Arkin?
Alan Arkin, the beloved actor and director, died on June 29, 2023, at age 89. He had been married to psychotherapist Dr. Suzanne Newlander since 1996.
Where does Jeremy Yaffe live now?
The last known address was 429 Hudson St, Oakland, California, though given her privacy preference, current details aren’t publicly available.